Race for Life

From left to right, Aunty Mary, Mum and Aunty Tina

The first race for life was today. My mum, aunts, friends and friends of friends embarked on the trek across Blackweir Fields in the boiling heat to raise money for my million pounds challenge. At 11am when the race began I lay on the sofa in my chemo coma and shed a tear for the pride of these people doing it for me.

That afternoon I recieved a text from my friend Nat who said: "I did it for you Kath, I ran the whole way and cried loads, was really emotional"

I'm so lucky, I have amazing friends and family and it doesn't stop there, I have more friends running the race for life, others running half marathons, my friend Neil organising a charity film premiere and other various events throughout the year.

If you're running race for life, or any sporting event and would like the money donated to the million pounds challenge for cancer research, please get in touch with me: katherine@urbantraffic.co.uk

Wigs and Banana Skins...

Well I'd recommend a short break with a group of friends to everyone. 6 days of non-stop laughing was just what I needed to feel alive again.

Sunbathing was out of the question...too hot and worried that I'd get sunburn, so most of the holiday was spent on the balcony munching crisps, bottles of water and laughing so much that I think I've returned with a 6 pack!

Luckily there was no embarrassing 'wig at the airport' stories however there were a few 'wig scares' whilst on holiday...

Day 4 of holiday, my friend Louise and I made our way down to the beach restaurant to indulge in an ice-cream whilst our other 2 friends were having a siesta. After our ice-cream we ordered a cup of tea and I decided to nip off to the loo. Now at this beach restaurant I didn't notice that the inside area was partitioned off by a very long patio door... so as I walked into the restaurant, I tripped on the patio door runner, flat on my face and as I lifted myself up onto all fours I noticed my knee was bleeding and that split second fear that my wig was half way off my head exposing my baldness... luckily I touched my wig and it seemed intact, so I gracefully walked over to the bar, asked where the toilet was and went inside and felt so relieved that my wig was still on! Phew...

and then, Day 5, a shopping trip into the city, whilst walking past the beautiful cathedral I slipped...on a banana skin... what are the odds! I thought that only happened in the Beano! And Again, flat on my face, sheer panic of my wig half off my head as Spaniard people gasped in horror... but phew... wig intact! My knee started bleeding again but my wig... super sticky 'stay on forever' wig deserves a round of applause!

Apart from those 2 silly incidents, I did have a rather embarrassing wig experience with the cleaner... one morning I went out into the hallway to ask the cleaner for fresh sheets, whilst wearing my wig... and then later that day she knocked on the door, me wigless and gave me the sheets with a strange look on her face... blimin wig.

I’m not ‘there’ yet to be bald and proud, and I’m not ‘there’ yet to see people’s reactions to seeing me bald. My wig is great, but I can’t wear it all the time, its itchy and hot. Maybe I’ll just glue it onto my head?!

Sun, Sea, Sand....and Wigs

Ok so Thursday morning, I'm off to Palma with 3 friends of mine. I've not packed but I think I know what I'm taking; Factor 50 sun lotion (I've only ever gone up to factor 15 when I was in the Maldives so Hub, are you reading? ... am taking Factor 50 to make sure I don't burn, get ill, and you have to come home!), a big hat, kaftans and flip flops. That's all I need. Oh and a wig for the evenings!!

I'm debating wearing the wig for travelling. It gets itchy and its heavy and as I've said before, I enjoy 'being undercover' but I'm not sure if i'll feel suspicious in my wig and draw attention to myself! But then do I want the embarrassement of wearing a scarf and cap and have to remove them at the bag scanning section.... now way, i'd be mortifed.

It's a toughie.

Or maybe I can just wear my wig the whole holiday, I've had hair before, so I don't know why it feels so weird in a wig. I can wash it when I shower every day and put it back on... hmmmm.... am not sure what to do.

See, dealing with cancer is tough enough, but dealing with cancer and trying to look healthy and well in spain is another thing...

The Lion

For those who don't know... a few weeks before our lives were turned upside down... the hub got 'the' phone call for the British Lions tour this year. Now those in the know, know. But those not in the know listen here... the British Lions rugby tour is the best of the best and if you're picked to go, it means that you're the best at what you do, it's an honour to be chosen to represent your country. So the hub being selected to go means that he's reached the pinnacle of his career.... now how can we let cancer get in the way of that!

So some might think it's weird that he's gone, he in fact was going to pull out of going as soon as I was diagnosed but I wouldn't let him, and I don't care what anyone thinks; my husband has achieved something so amazing and that makes me the proudest wife - I'm wasn't prepared to look back on this in years to come and know that he didn't go because I had cancer, him going to the South Africa is proving that we're beating it, cancer hasn't ruined our lives. We currently count our time in chemo sessions, he's only away for 2 chemos and I've had 2 chemos so far and they've flown by, so in 2 chemos time he's back home...

And I've planned loads of things to do whilst he's away; a girle retreat to Spain, caravan weekend in West Wales, a friends hen weekend, visting my sister in London, dinners, lunches, spa days... there's not a weekend free until he's back...

So, Saturday morning with his passport in his pocket, the hub kissed me goodbye; he was heading off to a training camp near London, and me... I was off to Bristol to stay with my cousin to cry, eat comfort food and watch the Eurovision.

I know the time will fly now that he's gone, and I know it's really hard for him being away so I want to make sure he doesn't worry, which means that I have to keep healthy and strong.

Vitamins, fruit and juice, at the ready...!

Chemo Number 2.... Check!

Am back.

Chemo number 2 was a weird one. No sickness, phew. I just felt like I'd swam the Bristol Channel, and drank it! I was exhausted, too exhausted to get up; my arms ached, I felt dizzy going upstairs and my mouth tasted of sea water. But no sickness, and I am grateful for that.

My hair is still falling out although its shaven so it's little bits. And the tips from my chemo nurse;

1. Put a silky nightie on your pillow so that my head won't get sore when sleeping. Genius!
2. Get some rosemary oil and a carrier oil (preferrably grapeseed but you can use baby oil or even olive oil) and rub it on your head to stop it getting dry. Double Genius!

Those with culinary skills know that olive oil and rosemary is a good rub for roast lamb...so if you don't have any grapeseed or baby oil and you rub olive oil in your head along with the rosemary oil... you end up smelling like roast lamb... and that's how I smelt... for 2 days!

And i did have tears one morning when I woke up; I looked in the mirror and my face was so dry from the chemo, my lips were cracked, I had a shaven head with patches of baldness and my face was swollen from the steroids...I didn't recognise myself anymore. It was frightening.

But remembering what my sister said... "a bit of make-up" and that's what I did, and I felt so much better!

Anyway, am through the 2nd chemo. And next week I'm going on a relaxing holiday with 4 of my friends for the long bank holiday weekend... when I'm back... chemo number 3..... but it won't be so bad... I won't look so ill with a suntan!

Cupcakes

I know I shouldn't be online after having chemo but I needed to put this in because it's completely brightened my day.

Whilst having chemo, which incidentally went horrible... the first chemo felt like my arm was burning, the second chemo felt like my arm was frozen and was going to fall off and the third chemo felt like i'd been punched in the arm and it was numb. Not good.... anyway, during chemo number 1, the doorbell rang and my hub brought in a parcel addressed to me, which is exciting in itself!, and he opened it for me and inside was a beautiful red box tied with ribbon and inside that were 9 brightly coloured cup cakes! 

What a fabulous gift and what brilliant timing! 

So we ate them, all, well there's 1 left (well I had to eat them as I'll be feeling ill in a few hours and for the whole week so I couldn't put them to waste!) And they were the most delicious cakes, the sponge was like fluff!

I want to thank Jess and Chris and the girls for sending them. It really turned a horrible situation into a lovely morning and the timing couldn't been better. 

So now, as the hub is making a cup of tea I'm going to indulge in the last cupcake before the illness really kicks in!

Tooth Ache & Chemo & Head Shave... Oh My!

Chemo day... and I woke up with horrendous toothache. Why o' why does my body wish to punish me so badly!

Luckily, my dentist who knows about the peanut sized tumor has been amazing and has seen me at the drop of a hat to help with anything. So off I went at 9am to the dentist who removed the scuzz from my infected tooth and injected me with anti-bacterial fluid to help with the swelling and soreness.

Next door to the dentist was a barber shop, Grooms. Now earlier this morning I woke up to another pillow of hair and also more patches of baldness and I didn't want to be lying in a pool of my own hair whilst I'm in my chemo coma of sickness. So I entered the barbers...

Of course, a girl going into a barbers turns heads and especially as there was no Reception desk so I just had to say to the barber whilst they were mid-cut of someone's hair "My hair has started to fall out and I was hoping you could shave my head" I was mortified.

Anyway, they sat me down and proceeded to shave it off. I told them about the big C and how upsetting it was to lose my hair and then I was surprised that the other barber said that she had cancer 6 years ago and sympathised with me. Off came all my hair and then the tears followed, along with tears from the man getting his hair cut...bless.

But its off, and they wouldn't take any money off me which is so lovely and I received hugs of all the staff and I even gave a kiss on the cheek to the man that had tears streaming down his face as they cut his hair. Oh geez, doorbell...chemo nurse is here... I can't finish my blog and I won't be online until about a week's time....

Wish me luck!

Chemo Number 2

Oh joy... it's that time again... cleaning in panic to make sure the house is sparkling for chemo...

I think we've cleaned the house more for chemo than when we have guests coming round!

I had my blood tests today to see if I have enough white blood cells to be able to have chemo. I was really worried as I've booked a relaxing girlie holiday for 2 weeks time but if I failed my tests it'd mean that I couldn't go... and I passed! Rock on... and bring on the suntan lotion!

Hair is now horrendous. Patchy baldy bits on my head but at least the soreness has gone. I found a birthmark on my head that I've never seen, obviously as i've never been bald before. But that's sort of cool... finding someone out about myself that I never knew.

So yes, I. Am. Dreading. Chemo. Tomorrow.

But I'm sure nothing can be as bad as it was last time... surely?

Tonight, the hub and I were going to go out for dinner but am so tired, my head is sweaty from hiding behind a cap and I just fancy a takeaway, a good dvd and an early night.

Fingers crossed my next post will be how easy this chemo session was! But if not, it's still 2 down and only 4 to go!

Patchy

Well I woke up this morning to find most of my hair on the pillow. My head still hurts and I've still got loads of hair but as the day's gone by... I now have 3 bald patches on my head.

I cried this morning, just out of self pity. It's so horrible having to experience it falling out so slowly. I wish that if it was going to all-fall-out, to just all-fall-out. Not to punish me with tufts coming loose and having to pick them up off the floor.

Anyway, today I wore a hat, all day. Even indoors. Tomorrow, who know's what'll be left.

I can hear the hub hoovering the bedroom as I'm typing this. Knowing that it's late and we're going to go to bed he's picking up the loose hairs so that I don't get upset when I go to bed.

Thank god for hubs! I hope he still loves me if I wake up with hair like Phil Mitchell in the morning!

Bad Head

My head is so painful. I'm not sure if its dry skin irritating the hair fall out or its just the hair fall out. Eitherway, its painful.

So much, that I can't sleep at night, I'm waking up in the early hours and lying in bed with my sore head. I've tried moisturing my head but its not working :-(

I've been showering but not getting my hair wet in case that made it worse, but yesterday the hair was looking a bit greasy so I decided to wash it with baby shampoo... OMG! Tears! It was the most painful experience. No-one told me it would be like this, in fact the hub and I Googled chemo hair loss pain and nothing came up. Surely I can't be the only person experiencing this!

If any of you know anyone who's had chemo that causes hairloss, please get in touch as I don't know what to do. Should I shave it, should I leave it and how can I stop the pain :-(

Lois Lane

Wearing a wig is so exciting!

I found a fab wig in Bristol and also bought a few bandanas and hats although I did have tears in Urban Outfitters when I tried on a bandana and I looked like I was bald underneath, that scared me... but its going to happen, very soon too as the hair is slowly dropping out. But I'm lucky that I have loads of hair so it still looks the same even though its crumbling away from my head all day.

Anyway, I wore the wig to the hen party at a dim sum restaurant and I had a blast! Arriving was a bit scary as my work friends hadn't seen my wig but getting ready; I felt like I was about to embark on a secret mission and it felt really exciting! The reason is that I've never had a real fringe, and my wig has a full fringe and is bob length with flicky-outy bits, its fab, so I looked completely different!

And the response was good, especially as I got cold feet about wearing it before leaving the house and then my friend Becki came over and commented on how fab it was (and she's the true test, Becki can't lie, she's too brutally honest and in these situations, I need the truth!) so I felt great!

It did start itching after a few hours and I was relieved to take it off in the car home but I think i've got the bug, more wigs need to be purchased for undercover nights out... ooh maybe i'll get a fake moustache and beard too!

Losing my Head

Ok well not my head, but my hair!

Last night I was at my friend Jo's catching up with news whilst her fiance cooked us a fabulous meal. Throughout the evening I felt a weird sensation in my head; ladies you know when you've been wearing a ponytail and then you release your hair and you have that 'tight' feeling, it's exactly that!. My hair is super short (in fact its so short that I've named myself 'Pedro' as without make-up I look like a Spanish boy!) so I knew instantly that it was the right sensation for my hair to fall out and it felt bloody scary.

So when I got home, I told the hub and we lay in bed chatting about how i'd look without hair and how worried I am about losing my eyebrows and lashes. When we were so zonked that I went to go and turn off the light, I looked at my pillow and there it was, my 4cm strands of hair on the pillow. I was shocked at how quickly it fell out. And as I tried to get to sleep I couldn't find a comfortable position to lay in because my head was so uncomfortable.

This morning when I woke up, I expected to find my whole head of hair on the pillow and I'd look in the mirror and collapse in tears...but when I looked at the pillow, there was 1 strand of hair! Hurrah, I still looked normal!

So today I'm getting a train to Bristol and am going wig shopping with my cousin Chris. He'll be brutally honest with me if I try something on, love it and really look like a man in drag. So i'm excited to go, am just waiting for my train and hopefully I'll return with a fabulous wig that I can wear tomorrow evening at a friends 'oriental' hen do. If not then I'll just have to have a bandana in my handbag incase my hair decides to fall out over my Dim Sum!