Well my hopes of having a DCIS (ductal carcinoma in situ) type of cancer are out of the window, it's invasive, so could spread. But hey, around 85% of breat tumors are, so I'm not alone!
And I found out today that during my operation I'll be injected with some blue dye to map out my lymph nodes so that I can have 4 of them removed. This is to see if the cancer has spread. But, it means that for about a day or so, I'll have blue skin! And i'll pee blue, and some people even cry blue tears! All those childhood fantasties of being the cute girl smirf with a yellow flower in my hair are about to come true! I must remember to get someone to take a picture!
So anyway, as it's invasive, i'll be having chemo. And I'm afraid of losing my hair, well my dignity to be precise. But to make sure that this little 15mm sucker doesn't get one over on me, I'm going to chop all of my hair off this week. It's my way of making sure that I'm in control!
I'm not going to shave it off, my operation is hopefully next week and there's a few weeks of recovery time first. So i'm going for a short hair style just to get used to having short hair, so that when it comes out, it's not a shock to anyone or myself.
And to make myself feel better, I'm going to treat myself to a Hermès scarf to wrap my head in. And then have some fun with a few fun wigs, why not! This is the only time in my life that I can get away with anything I want to, so if I fancy being ginger, blonde or have dreadlocks for the day, then so be it!
So suprisingly, I feel really positive. At least now I know what I'm dealing with!
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