Finding Out I had Breast Cancer & Telling my Family

Yesterday, at 7.30pm the Dr said the words out loud ‘We had reason to be suspicious, it IS breast cancer’, I gasped, my husband went blank and it felt like that weird shot in a film when a person is zooming towards you but the background is drawing away. I was completey shocked. But being me, I then sat up in my chair and asked lots of questions. So basically, I’m waiting to be seen tomorrow for a mamogram and ultrasound to see how bad it is and if its in the other breast, from that I’ll know more about what they have to do.

As soon as I came out of the hospital, I rang my brother-in-law as I couldn’t face telling my sister. They were holidaying in Dubai and not due home for another 7 days so I tried to act as calm as I could saying that it was fine and that there was nothing to worry about. I could hear my 14month old niece in the background and I desperatly just wanted to hug her and let her beautiful innocent face make me smile.

Telling my parents was the hardest and traumatic things I’ve ever had to do. When I saw my mum as I entered their lounge I couldn’t get the words out, I just stood there and tried to hold back the tears. My husband told her what the Dr said and my mum just caved into me and she held me so tight that I felt how I did when I was a little child and my mum hugged me to keep me safe. My dad was numb but tried to keep calm, trying not to show emotion but at the same time saying things to make me feel better.

Then we all sat there in their lounge just staring at the window. We just couldn’t belive it.

Then I rang my friends, which was so hard. And then I rang my cousin who is like a brother to me, who I’d kept the whole thing quiet from, so I had to start from the beginning. He lives in Bristol so I didn’t want him to worry about me, but then the shock of the whole situation came out of his mouth and I realised the seriousness of this. I had cancer, and there’s a whole bunch of friends and family that knew absolutely nothing, and this is how they’d all react…