About Me

My name is Katherine Bown (maiden: Formosa) and on 23rd February ‘09, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. This is my story, my diary, which I hope will be support to those who are battling breast cancer or those waiting for their biposy results that are eager to find out more…

And to my friends and family, I thank you all for you continuous support and sometimes when I’m in hibernation and don’t feel like talking, this is a great way to keep you all up-to-date with my news.

For those who don't know me, I’m 33 years old, I live in Cardiff and I recently got married. I run a website, www.urbantraffic.co.uk and I also work part-time as a Communications Manager.

Sunday 5 July 2009

A New Outlook...

There has to be some reason that this is happening to me.

I can't have experienced the best year of my life during 2008; my niece was born, my boyfriend proposed to me, then his team won the Grand Slam at rugby, I had the most fun ever at my hen do, I experienced the best day of my life at my wedding (non-wed people, its actually true, it 'does' feel like the best day of your life!) and then spent 3 weeks honeymooning in the Maldives and Vegas and then just when I was ready to start a family...whoosh...the rug is pulled from under my feet, I get diagnosed with Breast Cancer and then I learn I can't start a family for 5 years....

So it can't just be bad luck... there has to be some reason why this has happend... maybe there's something I've yet to do in my life and I've been wracking my brains for the past few weeks trying to figure out what it is!

All I know is that I've been told that 1 in 5 women get breast cancer back within 2 years of finishing treatment but if I go 5 years without getting it back... I should be able to say that I'm all clear... but those 2 years are going to be really hard. And if I'm unlucky enough to get it back I want to say that I've bloody enjoyed those 2 years.

I can't face finishing chemo and radiotherapy and then going back to my old life. I want to experience 'something' and its so cliche but I want to enjoy every minute as life is precious. For the 4 weeks between being diagnosed and finding out my lymph nodes were given the all clear, I worried that I was going to die, horribly by suffering and fighting through cancer. But I'm not, and I've feel like I've been given a 'get out of jail free' card for a 2nd chance at life but I don't know what I'm supposed to do....

I'm going to start 'pruning' and getting rid of all the negativity in my life, then I feel like I need to go spend some time alone to figure out what I need to do without anyone influencing me... maybe i'll book a weekend break somewhere sunny where I can sit on a balcony overlooking a beautiful view and start with a pen and blank piece of paper and just brainstorm...

I won't waste my life anymore, no-one knows when their lives will end and I don't think anyone really cares to think about that. But my life is different, I thought recently that my life 'was' going to end, but I've got it back, and I have to start to really live it, I just wish I knew how to!
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1 comment:

  1. Daria6 July 2009 at 14:52

    Yes celebrate life ... do what you want to do.

    Sometimes that is hard to figure out but I think you may have a better idea now.

    ReplyDelete

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