Feeling Good

I think some people find it odd that I like to hibernate when I'm going through some problems but my theory is that I have to figure out my problems myself. I never want to be influenced on my feelings because then they aren't true.

So to me, there's nothing like some 'me' time, and I'm back feeling great!

The hub and I drove West and spent 5 fabulous days at his parents house. Whilst he worked I read every fashion mag (including Tatler and Vogue which I've never actually bought before!) and relaxed, it was blissful. And on the Friday we drove to every beach from his parents house to St. David's which was amazing. We talked, we laughed, I whinged and then the oddest thing happend....

Have you ever read the Celestine Prophecy? There's a section in there that describes coincidences; that when you 'bump' into someone in the oddest of places or thought about someone then happend to 'bump' into them, sometimes twice in 1 day...isn't a coincidence. The reason is that they have a message for you. Some might call this 'spiritual cr*p' but I love things like this, like I love the thought of the Da Vinci Code being true. But everyone is allowed their opinion and like many, you may think that having cancer has just made me a bit bonkers! but anyway...

As the hub and I were walking to visit the Cathedral in St. Davids, I saw a little girl, about 2yrs old, and she was wearing a a cute red coat, gorgeous little shoes and she was happily clip clopping along the path. With her was a lady who scooped her up in her arms and I felt a sudden pang of jealousy; would I ever get a moment with that with my own child? As we walked passed them, the lady called out to my husband and he recognised her as his good friend 'Tom's' mum and they started chatting. She told us that she fostered children and that the little girl with her was waiting to be adopted.

From that moment which was last Friday and ever since, I can't help thinking about that little girl. And about how many little cute children who were out there just waiting for someone to take them and make them feel loved.

I'd never really though about adpotion as an option. I'd joked about going to Mawai and doing what Madonna and Angelina have done....but didn't really mean it. But now I feel different. Maybe that's what my life has got planned out for me. That my role is to give a child a chance in life and adopt them from their troubled little lives. Maybe i'll go on to have children of my own, but for now I think its an option to adopt. Once my body has been through chemo etc.. and I'm fit and well enough, I think its a good option. I think that by adopting we'll enjoy the rewarding feeling of giving a child a new life and then if we're lucky to have our own...great, and if we couldn't have any in 5 years time, we'd have our adopted child so it wouldn't make any difference.

I wish I was well enough to try to adopt that little girl. But i'm sure there's a lovely family waiting for her. Maybe someone like me who has had a fright in life and just wants to grow a family and make her mark in life. But at least I know that the option is there...so today, I feel good.